Thursday, November 26, 2009

And now, a few words from our first president:

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houfes of Congress have, by their joint committee, requefted me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to eftablifh a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and affign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of thefe States to the fervice of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our fincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the fignal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpofitions of His providence in the courfe and conclufion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have fince enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to eftablish Conftitutions of government for our fafety and happinefs, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are bleffed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffufing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleafed to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in moft humbly offering our prayers and fupplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and befeech Him to pardon our national and other tranfgreffions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private ftations, to perform our feveral and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a bleffing to all the people by conftantly being a Government of wife, juft, and conftitutional laws, difcreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all fovereigns and nations (especially fuch as have shewn kindnefs unto us); and to blefs them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increafe of fcience among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind fuch a degree of temporal profperity as he alone knows to be beft.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand feven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington

Happy Thanksgiving to all,

Chanman and family

Monday, November 23, 2009

SNL gets it right

Saturday Night Live has tepidly made fun of our Dear Leader in the past, but you could tell that they were definitely holding back.

Not this time. This press conference between Obama and the leader of China is priceless!

Hopefully, SNL will continue to point out that the emperor has no clothes, and other comedians out there will finally figure out that it is OK to pummel our president.

Good Day to You, Sir

Friday, November 20, 2009

Great, something else to worry about

And you thought waking up in a tub of ice water with your kidney missing was bad:

Gang 'killed victims to extract their fat'

Nope, never contemplated going in that fashion... until now.

Good Day to You, Sir

It's the moooost wonderful tiiime of the yeeeear!

Why is that? Not because it's almost Thanksgiving or Christmas, but because its always around this time of year that I begin teaching my 8th graders about the Constitution, and that usually means having to gingerly explain the circumstances of Bill Clinton's impeachment without getting myself in trouble.

Today, I began teaching my 8th graders about Article I of the Constitution, which lists the qualifications, responsibilities, and powers of Congress. Included in that list is the power of impeachment. The natural thing to do as a teacher is to give examples of impeachments that have happened in our country's history, and since there are only two presidential examples, its a little hard to ignore 50% of the occurrences. That, and since Clinton is such a recent (and still popular with my students) president, his name invariably comes up in the class conversation, where students want to know what he did to get impeached.

Remember, I am talking to 8th graders here, but to truly get them to understand the gravity of Clinton's offenses, I refuse to fully sugar coat what he did. What I tell them is that when he was governor of Arkansas, he had some of his underlings bring to his hotel room a woman who had caught his eye. That woman was Arkansas state employee Paula Jones. I tell the students that Clinton exposed himself to her, but I don't have the stones to add that he told her to "kiss it."

I then tell my students that because of this incident, Paula Jones sued Bill Clinton for sexual harrassment, and the suit was still going forward when he became president. Then I go into the perjury charges where he lied under oath in an effort to conceal his relationship with Monica Lewinsky and how his lies led to the case being dismissed.

Then things get really fun when I tell my students how the case was reinstated when evidence was introduced that proved there really was a relationship between Clinton and Lewinsky, thus proving that Clinton was committing perjury.

"What was the evidence, Mr. Chanman? What was the evidence?" Well kids, there was this blue dress...."

Damn you, Bill Clinton.

Good Day to You, Sir

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Attorney General:

I would venture to say that either AG Eric Holder is a moron, or he is a leftist scumbag. Either one doesn't bode well for the well being of our country. I have to say, I don't think much of that Republican squish, Lindsey Graham, either, but the ambiguous non-answers that he extracts from Eric Holder is a rather brilliant maneuver, especially since the million-dollar question is such a simple one: If you captured Osama bin Laden tomorrow, would you have him informed of his Miranda rights and try him in federal court like you are doing with Khalid Sheik Muhammad (who was not Mirandized by the way)?

As a commenter so succinctly (and profanely) points out on (see blogroll):

This could be one of the shortest trials in history.

Defense attorney: “Mr Khalid Shitbag Mohammed- were you read your Miranda rights upon your arrest?”

Khalid Shitbag Mohammed: “No.” “Death to America.”

Defense attorney: “Mr. WhoeverthefuckarrestedKSM- did you read Mr. Khalid Shitbag Mohammed his Miranda rights upon his arrest?”

Mr. WhoeverthefuckarrestedKSM: “No sir, I did not”.

Defense attorney: “Your Honor, I move that the case against Khalid Shitbag Mohammed be dismissed.”

Judge: “Case dismissed.”

Good Day to You, Sir

Fantasy, meet Reality

Several months ago, the socialists at released an ad that trumpeted the benefits of the so-called Public Option for health care. The ad, entitled "Track Meet" shows a bunch of fat cat insurance executives standing on a running track doing what rich people often do, such as pouring champagne all over themselves and stuffing an entire sandwich in their mouth - isn't that what you see rich people often doing? /sarc.

Than along comes the angelic actress Heather Graham, representing the public option who provides the competition that prompts the insurance fat cats to put down their sandwiches and change their ways in order to keep up with Heather. If my description of the ad doesn't do it for you, watch it for yourself:

I have three words for this ad: male bovine excrement.

Here is another ad - this one from the Center for Medicine in the Public Interest - that also uses a sports analogy and shows how the "competition" of a "public option" would really play out:

Always remember, only government has the guns to make you do something they want you to do. Private industry does not. The MoveOn ad would be more accurate if Heather Graham was whacking the other runners with a baseball bat as they all run down the track.

Good Day to You, Sir

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Don't question the Cult of Obama

I am beginning to grow more and more relieved that my refusal to support our Dear Leader merely resulted in a beer being poured over my head. Watch what happened to this student who, during a class at a Maryland community college, expressed her non-support for The One. What is interesting about this news piece is that there are no denials; no he said-she said. It really happened. What happened made me ill:

Welcome to Obama's America.

Good Day to You, Sir

Imagine if Ernesto Miranda had been waterboarded

Un-freaking-believable. The Obama administration, once again "acting stupidly" - to steal one of his famous utterances - has decided to take a Muslim terrorist who committed an act of war by masterminding the attacks of September 11, 2001, and put him on trial in New York City, complete with all the constitutional protections and due process requirements that a trial in a civilian court of law requires.

In his latest column, Pat Buchanan has a few questions that Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder need to answer. Here is one of them:
And if we must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that KSM was complicit in mass murder, by what right do we send Predators and Special Forces to kill his al-Qaida comrades wherever we find them? For none of them has been granted a fair trial. When the Justice Department sets up a task force to wage war on a crime organization like the Mafia or MS-13, no U.S. official has a right to shoot Mafia or gang members on sight. No one has a right to bomb their homes. No one has a right to regard the possible death of their wives and children in an attack as acceptable collateral damage.
As Buchanan points out, either we are at war, or we are not. Subjecting Khalid Sheik Muhammad to a civilian criminal trial is going to pretty interesting when his defense lawyers (I hate them already) are going to ask the prosecution about the interrogation techniques used on him. Wouldn't the waterboarding alone cause the judge to dismiss the whole case? Then what happens?

By all means Dear Leader and AG Holder, tell us.

Good Day to You, Sir

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Do you still think he was picking up a piece of paper?

Remember when a video made the rounds that showed our Dear Leader, President Obama, appearing to bow before the king of Saudi Arabia? No, said the Obamabots, President Obama was just picking something up off the ground. When that became demonstrably false, the argument changed to the height difference between Obama and the king supposedly required our president to bend over to shake the king's hand. When that became demonstrably false, the argument changed to one of cultural sensitivity and besides, George W. Bush kissed the king and held his hand. So did Obama bow to the king of Saudi Arabia? See for yourself - it will only take you 13 seconds:

Now that you have watched that, it doesn't really matter whether you think that was a bow or not, because today, more video made the rounds that shows - without any ambiguity - President Obama subserviently bowing to the emperor of Japan... and I do mean subserviently! The emperor's wife too. In fact, if you watch the entire exchange, you will see Obama bow to one degree or another a total of eight times during the 19 second video snippet. As you watch the video, please keep in mind that this groveling little beta male is your President:

Notice that the emperor (nor his wife for that matter) reciprocated Obama's bow. I am absolutely disgusted by this. The Obamabots will obviously try to diminish this controversy by asking what the big deal is. It's actually a very big deal. Just ask the New York Times, which as you are probably aware, is a newspaper that is entirely in the leftist corner. In 1994, the Times chastised then-President Clinton for merely appearing to slightly bow to the very same Emperor of Japan.

So if our Dear Leader is going to go around showing his subservience to other world leaders, the least he could do is grovel correctly. He committed two major faux pas when he bowed to Japan's emperor. First, looked down and pointed his eyes to the floor. Anyone who has watched The Karate Kid knows that, per Mr. Miyagi's instruction, you don't break eye contact with the person to whom you are bowing. You always "look eye." Second, the whole idea of bowing is so that you can greet someone without making skin contact with them. Shaking hands while bowing rather kills the whole point doesn't it? Yet there is Obama shaking hands while he is bowing.

The bottom line is that once again, Obama has made himself look like an idiot. That would be bad enough if it was just affected him personally. Unfortunately his epic protocol fails are making our country look weak in the eyes of the world. When you are surrounded by wolves, the last thing you want is for your sheepdog to blink... or bow for that matter. That hopenchange is looking better and better, isn't it Obamabots?

Good Day to You, Sir

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veterans Day 2009

As you enjoy your day off, please remember to include in your thoughts and prayers the millions of current and past members of our military who have served our country during both times of peace and times of war.

U.S. Army/California Army National Guard

Good Day to You, Sir

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Our president speaketh with a forked tongue

There he goes again.

Our Dear Leader gave a speech today at Fort Hood where he memorialized the fallen soldiers who were murdered by Nidal "Allahu Akbar!" Hasan.

During part of his speech, Obama said a few words about each of the dead soldiers, and his description of one perked up my ears:
Private Francheska Velez, daughter of a father from Colombia and a Puerto Rican mother, had recently served in Korea and in Iraq, and was pursuing a career in the Army. When she was killed she was pregnant with her first child, and was excited about becoming a mother....
First of all, my sincerest condolences to Pvt. Velez and her unborn child.

But how disingenuous of our rabidly pro-abortion President to even bring up the tragedy of Pvt. Velez's baby dying with her. This concern of Obama for the murder of an unborn baby rings pretty hollow when, as an Illinois state senator, he couldn't even bring himself to vote in favor of a state law that would have banned abortion doctors from letting babies die after surviving a botched abortion. This concern of Obama for the murder of an unborn baby rings pretty hollow when you read his infamous remarks about how he wouldn't want his daughters "punished" with a baby.

Once again, it's a matter of our Dear Leader saying whatever it takes to woo the audience to which he is speaking. Yes, yes, I know: isn't that what all politicians do? With that truth in mind, you must remind yourself: Is that the hope and change you were looking for in Obama?

Good Day to You, Sir

See ya

Duh, duh, duh - Another one bites the dust
Duh, duh, duh - Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

Burn in hell John Allen Muhammad, and Good Day to You, Sir

I guess I got off easy

Amazed as I am at the "beer summit" I attended last night, I guess it could have been worse. Here is a news story about two Columbia University employees - a black male professor and a white female theater production manager - at a local watering hole in New York City who got in a contentious argument about race relations.

I'll give the ending away: The man ended the argument by punching the woman in her face. How charming.

A black eye takes quite a bit more time to disappear than beer stains on a shirt.

Good Day to You, Sir

Monday, November 09, 2009

Note to self: Challenging an Obamabot is hazardous to your drycleaning bill

Wow! What a night! This afternoon, I received an invitation from a friend of mine who works for the Republican party at the California state Capitol to attend a book signing at an Irish pub in downtown Sacramento. The book signing was for author Stevan Allen, who wrote his memoirs of his time in Germany during the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 and 1990. Seeing as how today is the 20th anniversary of that event, the timing for this event was impeccable.

I bought the book - entitled Roaming Ghostland: The Final Days of East Germany - and got it signed by the author. After that, my friend and I stood at the bar and enjoyed the complimentary adult beverages that were being served at the generous expense of Mr. Allen. My friend and I struck up a conversation with a middle-aged woman next to us, and the conversation was pleasant enough. Very soon however, her ramblings revealed to us that she was a raving leftist lunatic. When that became apparent, my friend excused himself and wandered away from the bar with a knowing smile and slight shake of the head. I knew that he had reached his limit of looniness, but I just couldn't help myself; I continued to engage the woman in conversation.

At some point, our conversation drifted to Barack Obama. The question of his citizenship came up. I said to her - and I quote - "I'm sure that Obama is a U.S. citizen and that he was born in Hawaii; but I can't help but wonder why he has spent almost $2 million dollars on lawsuits where he has fought requests for him to release his long-form birth certificate and other records." For the record, I believe that Obama really was born in Hawaii, but I have to admit, I really do wonder why he has fought so hard to release any of his records that could conclusively prove as much.

The woman's response of course was to insist that Obama had indeed released his birth certificate. I retorted that while he had released a computer-generated form from the state of Hawaii that is labeled as a Certificate of Live Birth, he had not released his LONG-FORM birth certificate that lists his delivering doctor, or the precise hospital at which he was delivered. After insisting that Obama has released this information (he hasn't), the woman changed her argument, insisting that at least Obama has reversed George W. Bush's policies, including her assertion that Obama has closed the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. I retorted that Obama has NOT closed Guantanamo. She said that Obama "plans on closing Guantanamo," to which I said, "He has not closed Guantanamo." After that, every excuse she gave me about his intentions was met by my retort/question: "Has he closed Guantanamo?"

After a few of my retorts where I asked this same exact question, do you know what this woman did? She poured her beer over my head. I shit you not, she poured her beer over my head, and then stormed away. I immediately sought out my friend, who took this photo with his Blackberry:

As she poured her beer over my noggin, I briefly contemplated the possibility of smacking her upside the head, as technically, she was committing the crime of assault upon me. In the end, I decided to go the Gandhi/MLK route and let her go right ahead with her actions. In fact, I lowered my head to give her an easier target. The sympathetic bartenders handed me a towel and looked for this woman, but she had made a cowardly exit out of the bar. I thanked the bartenders for the towel and told them not to bother looking for the woman; I looked at my stained shirt as a badge of honor. It was such an education to be given such treatment by this Obamabot. When you are trying to defend the indefensible, what other choice do you have than to lash out against the person who is asking you such uncomfortable questions?

The best part is that soon after this Obama-worshipping woman poured her beer over my head, I ran into Darren Miller of the blog Right on the Left Coast (see my blogroll), who happened to be in the same bar because Monday night is Trivia Night at that establishment. I got to tell him all about my adventure.

What an enlightening and instructive night!

Good Day to You, Sir

Ah, politics

Just a few days ago, it was thought that Nancy Pelosi didn't have the votes to get the HR 3962 passed by the House of Representatives. Then, something very interesting happened. The parts of the bill which authorized the funding of abortion (which many lefties insisted did not exist) were struck down in an amendment sponsored by Bart Stupak, a pro-life Democrat from Michigan. Republicans and some conservative Democrats got on board with the Stupak amendment and got it passed.

So far so good, but once the Stupak amendment was passed, many conservative Democrats who were previously going to vote against HR 3962 then used the passage of the Stupak amendment as an excuse to get on board with Pelosi and vote in favor of HR 3962. Enough fence sitters changed their voting intentions so that the bill that might not have passed, did indeed pass.

So, to review, HR 3962 passed largely because a ban against federally funded abortions was inserted into it.

Now, here is where politics come in. The expectation of House Democrats is that once the House version of this bill is melded with the Senate version in Conference Committee, the Stupak amendment will be removed from the finished bill, giving exactly what Pelosi and her minions wanted all along, even though the reason the House version passed in the first place is because abortion funding was removed.

As deputy whip Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, a far-left Democrat from Florida, said on MSNBC:
I am confident that when [the bill] comes back from the conference committee that that [abortion] language won't be there,” Wasserman Schultz said during an appearance on MSNBC. “And I think we're all going to be working very hard, particularly the pro-choice members, to make sure that's the case.
All par for the course in the fever swamps of Washington.

Good Day to You, Sir

20 years ago today

On November 9, 1989, the Berlin Wall came down after serving for 28 years as a harsh and sometimes deadly symbol of the Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union.

I was senior in high school at the time, and I am happy that I was old enough and mature enough to appreciate at the time, the significance of what was occurring.

As I watched the images of people taking sledgehammers to the wall as other people climbed over it, I harkened back to a speech that President Ronald Reagan had given in front of the Wall over two years earlier, just a week after I had finished my freshman year of high school. Reagan had said, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

In the book Treason by Ann Coulter, she talks about Reagan's famous line where he slapped down the gauntlet and presented this moral challenge to Gorby. She talks about the fits and cases of the vapors that were experienced by bureaucrats within our State Department after they tried over and over to convince Reagan NOT to say those famous six words. Reagan said them anyway, and two-and-a-half years later, his challenge was carried out; not because Gorby wanted to, but because he had to.

How interesting it is that 20 years after eastern Europeans rejected their communist masters, and several formerly hardcore socialist countries began to question the wisdom of the overwhelming role of government in their lives, the people of the United States have elected the most socialistic, left-wing government in our country's history. The good news is that quite often, these socialistic politicians - both our president and congresscritters - got elected by portraying themselves as more conservative. Now that many of these charlatans' true beliefs have been reflected by their actions rather than their words, it will be interesting next year and in 2012 to see how much their actions will catch up with them and if they will be rejected by a traditionally center-right electorate.

I will never forget the images I saw on my TV screen on November 9, 1989 and what they meant toward solidifying in so many peoples' minds the failure of communism and statism. The images serve as a lasting reminder that can be shown to anyone who has any allusions that communism or socialism is something that could actually work.

Good Day to You, Sir

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Obama's foot-in-mouth syndrome is shared by his press secretary as well

Our Dear Leader's pasty-faced press secretary, Robert Gibbs, has also been uttering head-shakingly stupid verbiage lately, just like his boss.

While answering a question about last Thursday's Tea Party in Washington D.C. that drew about 10,000 participants on very short notice, Gibbs had this to say about the signs at the rally that were a little more blunt in their message (emphasis mine):
I will continue to say what I've said before. You hear in this debate, you hear analogies, you hear references to, you see pictures about and depictions of individuals that are truly stunning, and you hear it all the time. People -- imagine five years ago somebody comparing health care reform to 9/11. Imagine just a few years ago had somebody walked around with images of Hitler....
Images of Hitler a few years ago? Can you imagine? Who would do such a thing?

That is just one. For LOTS more like it, check out this retrospective from, oh, the last few years.

Either Gibbs is an ignorant fool, or he is a sly tactician who is counting on the ignorance of all those Obamabots out there who will believe every word that comes out of this administration. I vote for the latter.

Good Day to You, Sir

Now it's in the Senate's hands

And if it passes the Senate, this trillion-dollar boondoggle is bearing down on you. I'll keep saying it until I am blue in the face: Please show me in Article I Section 8 of the Constitution where it says that Congress can mandate to the American people that they must have health insurance, let alone use taxpayer dollars to provide health insurance.

Nevertheless, late this Saturday night, the House of Representatives passed the so-called "Affordable Health Care for America Act" (HR 3962) by a vote of 220-215, with one Republican voting for it (Cao of Louisiana), and 39 Dems voting against it. Here is a link the final roll call.

Time to start flooding your Senators' inboxes, mailboxes, and switchboards with correspondence galore.

You can start by going here and having a letter sent to them.

Good Day to You, Sir

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Our president needs to just STFU

Because every time he opens his mouth, his foot would fit quite nicely.

His latest idiotic statement comes just a couple days after he spent a couple minutes giving light-hearted "shout outs" to the attendees of a Native American conference before he finally got around to addressing the horrific murders at Fort Hood.

Today, I read an article that was linked on the Drudge Report which quoted President Obama as follows, and all emphasis is mine:
Barack Obama cautioned a stunned public on Friday against drawing quick conclusions on a shooting rampage by an officer at a Texas military base that killed 13 people.

The president made the comments as the commander of Fort Hood, the US’s largest base for deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, quoted witnesses as saying the suspected gunman, Major Nidal Malik Hasan, shouted the Muslim declaration “Allahu Akbar” – God is great – as he opened fire. Speaking at the White House, Mr Obama said: “We don’t know all the answers yet, and I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts.”
Don't jump to conclusions until we have all the facts? Is that right, Mr. President? Here is another quote from our Dear Leader. Remember this one? Again, all emphasis is mine:
"Now, I don't know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played in that. But I think it's fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home; and, number three, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there's a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately. That's just a fact," Obama said.
This man is such a joke.

Good Day to You, Sir

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I lost by thaaaaat much

Must have been the hair. The blowout victory in Virginia was impressive, but I am most impressed with Chris Christie's win over Jon Corzine (pictured above) in heavily Democrat New Jersey.

What made Christie's win (and Corzine's loss) so sweet was the fact that our Dear Leader invested his prestige and political capital by going to New Jersey and campaigning for Corzine. Obama's mouthpieces immediately tried to downplay the Republican victories in Virginia and New Jersey, with that annoying anti-male, Robert Gibbs, saying, "I don't believe that local elections in New Jersey and Virginia portend a lot about legislative success or political success in the future."

Of course, if that's the case, then why did Obama work so hard to try to get Corzine reelected? Had the governorships of Virginia and New Jersey gone to the Democrat candidates the other night, would doughboy Gibbs have dismissed those victories as no big deal?

Typical political male-bovine-excrement.

Good Day to You, Sir

Do they not think we teachers talk to each other?

Yesterday, I arrived at work just in time to see a skater punk zoom into campus with his skateboard. He made no indication that he was going to stop riding it around campus, even though our school has a policy that once you arrive on campus, you must take your skateboard to the office or otherwise store it.

I walked up this student and informed him of such, and he told me, "Oh, I keep it in Mr. Eisenberg's classroom."

"I see, thank you," I said, and then turned around and walked up to the third floor and knocked on Mr. Eisenberg's door. He answered, and I told him that I was verifying something that a student had just told me, and I asked him if he lets any students keep their skateboards in his classroom. He told me that he had let a student do it once a couple of months ago. I thanked him, then headed back downstairs to the common area where I found this chucklehead student standing there with his skateboard, conversing with his fellow skater punks.

"Hey Mr. Skater Man, your story is bogus. I just checked with Mr. Eisenberg, and he hasn't had a skateboard in his room in a couple of months. C'mon, let's go take your skateboard to the office."

Mr. Skater Man's response: "I didn't know you were gonna check."

Good Day to You, Sir

Monday, November 02, 2009

If you oppose President Obama...

Courtesy of a blog called, comes a wonderful flowchart that makes it all so clear. Find out where you belong. If you have trouble reading it, remember that you can click on it to make it bigger:

Well, I'm not from the South, but certain other characteristics about my person condemn me anyway.

Good Day to You, Sir