Monday, August 20, 2007

puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh

You hear that sound? Run for your lives! It's a helicopter parent! You have heard that term before haven't you? It's a term coined by educators to describe parents who hover over their kids, over their kids' teachers, over their kid's bowel movements, apparently. A helicopter parent will show up in your classroom demanding why her little darling has a bad grade, and automatically assume the grade is all the teacher's fault. That's exactly what happened to me today, except the meeting took place in the Vice Principal's office.

The funny thing is that here was my first irate parent of the new school year, but the issue in question is from last school year. A little background information is in order:

Back in, oh say, February, I received a new student. After a few weeks, he had a C in my class, and the Mom showed up wanting to talk to me. At that time, she let me know that a C is unacceptable and that she wanted me to tutor her son if need be, and to email her about every test we were going to have, and to email her if his grade dropped below a certain percentage... uh huh. The student did bring up his grade. A new grading period began in April, and at the midway point, progress reports came out, and this student had a B in my class; cool. Then, slowly at first, and rapidly once June hit, this student fell apart. He started acting up in class, he began turning in nothing, and I mean nothing. With every missed assignment, his grade dropped, and then dropped again. I held him after class a few times to warn him that his grade was dropping and he needed to start doing his assignments; I let him know that we would be working right up to the very last week of school, that I don't back off and coast like some other teachers do. I let him know that if he needed extra help, he could see me before school, after school, or during lunch. He continued to do nothing. Parents can also check their students grades and upcoming and completed assignments online in my district, and I knew that the mom had access to that. Ten days before the end of school, I finally called his mother's phone number in an attempt to stop the bleeding. There was no answer and no voice mail. I dutifully recorded my attempt in my Parent Communication Log, and went on to the next parent phone call in regards to a student who had shut down a couple weeks early.

When grades were finalized on the second to last day of school, this student ended up receiving an F; something like a 56 or 57%, I think. I shook my head in disgust and started my summer. When I came back to school for my staff meeting two weeks ago, I checked my work email and saw that the student's mother had emailed me over the summer and wanted to know why her son got an F. She said I hadn't contacted her about his progress, and this wasn't fair, and blah, blah. I also got a forwarded email from my VP where she had written him and told him the very same thing. She wanted a meeting. There was no way I was going to be able to take care of this issue during the first week of school - I had enough on my plate for this school year, let alone revisiting crap from last school year - so I decided to tackle this grade dilemma this week. Today, I had the sit-down with the VP and the mom.

She filibustered for a good 5 minutes, telling me what I hadn't done to help her son pass my class. I finally got a chance to get a word in edgewise and tell her all the things that I had done to help her son pass my class. All of that wasn't good enough. She told me that I should have sent her a written note and attempted more phone calls. Oh, and for good measure, the mom said that the fact that I had to call so many parents near the end of the school year because their children were in danger of failing just showed that I am a bad teacher. She also castigated me for making the students do assignments right up to the very end of the school year, because, well, her son fell behind! Yes, I know; how dare I maintain my high standards.

After multiple attempts to assuage her anguish, the VP finally made a call and pulled this mom's son from his class to hear his side of the story. When the student in question was asked by the VP if I had warned him on multiple occasions that he was heading toward failing the class, he affirmed that, yes, Mr. Chanman did do that. The VP asked the student if I had offered off-hours assistance if he needed extra help, the student affirmed that, yes, Mr. Chanman had done that. Did this satisfy the mom? No. In fact she got even more angry and started blustering that she wanted to see the Principal and then the Superintendent, and that she was seriously considering pulling her son out of our school (don't let the door hit you...!).

The mom then made a statement about her son which pretty much summed it up for me. She said something to the effect of, "I want what's best for him; he's my baby." My thought was No kidding lady, you're sure treating him like one.

So, who knows what the next step will be. Will she cool off and let it drop? Or will she take this to the Principal? I don't really worry about it, because I am satisfied that I did as much as I could do with the time I was given to do it. Could I have made subsequent phone calls? Yes. Could I have mailed a note or sent one home with the student? Yes. Could I have gone to his home and talked to the mom there? Could I have followed the student into his room and stood there to make sure he did his homework? At what point does the student bear some responsibility for his performance in class? According to this mom, apparently never. No, his failure or success is in my hands alone. What a pathetic excuse for a parent.

Good Day to You, Sir

4 comments:

Law and Order Teacher said...

Some students fail in spite of their parents and some students pass in spite of their parents. This student will fail because of his parent. The responsibility has been removed from him for anything in his life. Next stop jail. You did all you can do. I heard all these excuses when I was a cop about the system causing their children's failure. Almost without fail, these same children did not do well in school. All I know is it wasn't their fault.

Anonymous said...

I've already had a parent email and "request that you (I) respect her (daughter's) wishes" and seat her somewhere else in class.

Perhaps she'd like it if I graded her daughter's papers in purple, instead of red, because red hurts her feelings or something.

At what point should parents allow *me* to run my classroom?

MasonPiper said...

I just got back from a few days in the Northern Nevada Desert and decided to read the Carnival. At 2:15, I will have a meeting with a 9th grader and Parent, I am a VP at the middle school the student went to last year, that I could script from your post. The student got an "A" for 3 quarters in Algebra, then an "F" the last one and failed both,the CRT and CBE for Algebra. The high school placed them in Algebra1-2, and now the mom wants me to change grades and write a letter stating that her child will be successful in Geometry. I really hope the student likes algebra, as that is what they will be taking. Thanks for putting me in a good frame of mind

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