The importance of fatherhood

I love being a father. Sometimes, the responsibility and the honor are so overwhelming, I am really at a loss for words as to how to describe the impact it has had on my life and the lives of my two children. Today, I ran across a remarkable description. On LaShawn Barber's Corner (see blogroll), LaShawn printed an excerpt from an article written by Joseph C. Phillips. Mr. Phillips is best known for playing the Navy husband of Bill Cosby's daughter on the last few seasons of the Cosby Show. After that show ended, Mr. Phillips continued acting and began writing as well. He recently came out with a book that I someday plan on reading, called He Talk Like a White Boy. Although Mr. Phillips has all sons, while I have a son and a daughter, his words about fatherhood and its importance are universal:

“I was blessed with three beautiful sons. I watch them from across the room as they wrestle or sit quietly reading, and I am in awe of God’s handiwork. The miracle of their lives takes my breath away. I listened to their heart beats when they were no bigger than goldfish swimming in their mother’s womb. I held them when they were helpless, fed them and cleaned them, and every day, they grow a little bit further into themselves and away from me and their mother. I cannot imagine being more in love with another human being. There is nothing I would not do for them, nothing I would not give.

“What is truly astonishing is that there are so many men in this society that willingly forgo the transcendental experience of watching their children grow and mature. They abandon the work of raising their sons to the mother. Although there are times I wish I could stamp “Return to Sender” on my children’s foreheads and send them on their way, given a choice, there isn’t a thing I would change because as selfish as it sounds, they have made my life richer and fuller.

“More importantly, I make their lives fuller. If not from me, from whom will they learn manhood? How will they learn to treat women if not by watching how I treat their mother? How will they learn faith if not by witnessing me on my knees in prayer? How will they learn discipline without my firm hand to guide them? Without fathers, boys are left to make it up as they go along — or they will latch on to the first knucklehead that shows them some attention.”

I think of all the students I teach - especially the boys - who don't have a father in their home. I watch them act like thuggish fools as they attempt to conduct themselves in the way they think men are supposed to act, never knowing that their bravado and posturing are a twisted and bastardized version of authentic manhood. It really is a tragedy to witness. It just makes me that much more grateful when I get to go home after work and show my children the way things are actually supposed be.

Good Day to You, Sir