Sunday, September 24, 2006

Another step toward the wussification of America

Next month, my wife and I and another family will be co-hosting a church function at our house that will be Halloween themed. Yeah, yeah, I know about the whole Christian vs. Halloween thing; just go with me on this and not get off subject.

My wife and the wife from the other family have taken the lead on planning for this party. Some other moms from our church group happened to ask my wife's planning partner about some of the activities they were planning. One of the activities mentioned was bobbing for apples. When this activity was mentioned, the other mothers, in the words of my wife, "unloaded" on her planning partner. I happened to talk to my wife's planning partner at church this morning, and she also told me some of the things the other mothers said.

The other mothers thought that bobbing for apples was a "terrible" idea. They said that it would be a "traumatic" experience for children, and that they were aghast at the thought of their childrens' faces being in the same water that had surrounded the head of the previous child.

Bobbing for apples? Traumatic? I guess if I grabbed my son by the back of the hair and slammed his head into the bucket of water, brought him up for air, and then slammed his head back into the water, then yeah... that would be traumatic. But to voluntarily stick your head into the water and be traumatized? C'mon ladies, let your kids have a little fun. As for the spreading of disease, I seem to recall that the last big get-together we had with our church group took place at a swimming pool. I'm sure you all can imagine what kind of nasty stuff ends up in a swimming pool, yet I didn't see any of those mothers fainting with fright upon witnessing their precious children swimming in the pool. And speaking of that, I didn't see any traumatized youngsters as they jumped into the pool and went all the way under the water. All I saw was laughing and playing.

This is a prime example of what I refer to as the wussification of America. It seems like anything that is fun yet has the slightest little amount of risk is verboten for many parents, and school administrators. I can think of so many childhood activities that I got to do as a child that would be gasped at today:

Dodgeball, playing war with plastic guns, dying gloriously and agonizingly during those same war games, smear the queer, jumping off high rocks into the local swimming hole, riding my bike without a helmet, riding in the open back of a pickup truck, riding in our car without a seatbelt.

Look at me everyone! I'm still alive! My life may have been more risky growing up, but I sure had a lot of fun.

Good Day to You, Sir

4 comments:

Teri said...

gee, I wonder how I survived my childhood? life was so much simpler back then.

Darren said...

As a toddler, I would sit on my dad's lap when we drove. He'd push the clutch, I'd shift the gears.

Amazing that I've lived to this day, huh?

You're right. Wussification.

nebraska girl said...

When I was 7 I'd drive the tractor while my grandpa forked hay off of the wagon. My brother and I used to lean off of our galloping horses to get needle grass to throw at each other. We went traipsing around in rattle snake country by ourselves. People today are a bunch of wimps.

Polski3 said...

You wimp, you never endoed on your bike or skateboard ????


Halloween idea: Trunk and Treating. Parents decorate the trunk or back space of their vehicle, kids go from vehicle to vehicle to get a goodie. We did it at church a few years ago, as an idea for a "safe" halloween family activity. It was a good idea, but lets just say that when 80% of the church attendees are 65 years +, there were not many kids. But they did get oodles of candy and treats from those people who participated.

Wanna get those other parents? Spread the word about a kissing booth. Or a wet t-shirt
competition for the moms. Have Fun!